i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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