Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I want a musical about memes.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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