he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
