before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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