you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
