i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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