I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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