CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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