Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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