i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
