I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's just like the Real World with babies
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
