"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
