The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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