I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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