Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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