glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
