i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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