So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
