Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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