dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he thought i was a dude.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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