But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
