His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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