chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
