I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
