Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
