either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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