Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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