i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
