he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize