i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize