I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
