I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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