The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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