do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
