i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
