dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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