i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.