wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat