Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
