Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
