I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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