my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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