My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
