haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
