smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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