I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
