idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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