Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
