Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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