I wish my penis had an off switch
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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