just come out here and I will go home with you...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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