I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
