If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
