I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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