Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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