we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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