I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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