hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
