i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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